Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
