Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I looked at my own cervix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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