Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
