Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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