Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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