Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think my vagina is haunted
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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