yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
