You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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