I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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