she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
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exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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