Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
