when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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