Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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