I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
