she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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