she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
