She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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