Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
