I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
