if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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