anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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