I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
