You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
