What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
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I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
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Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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