We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
