Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
