I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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