I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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