We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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