he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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