It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
