need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize