Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
