don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
