A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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