For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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