yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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