yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
