Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
