i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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