I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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