he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize