Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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