My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
