How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
