When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
