He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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