I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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