does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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