Little spoons don't ask big questions
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
