she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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