STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
