She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
