my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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