His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
