some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
