did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My liver just had a heart attack.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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