ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
