Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
