What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
