I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
