the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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