I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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