I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize