My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
