Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
