wanna go halves on a baby?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize