do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
