Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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