We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
