try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
